


fruits and cucumber

by dancehallkids



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: M/M, dinosaurs fell in love song, disclaimer i do not own this song it owns me, idrk how to tag this !, im just using the lyrics credit all goes to fenn and tom rosenthal, the emotional yoga moment
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-02
Updated: 2021-01-02
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:35:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 648
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28499157
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dancehallkids/pseuds/dancehallkids
Summary: dan has a special gift for phil's birthday, and it may simultaneously be his best and worst yet.
Relationships: Dan Howell & Phil Lester
Comments: 2
Kudos: 4





	fruits and cucumber

the globe sat on their mantelpiece, and dan stared at it, grinning. he was gonna get shit from phil for buying it, especially since he'd been ragging phil for his tiny figurines and centerpieces and other knick knacks. tiny cutesy pieces perched on their mostly box filled rooms made dan laugh. or he was running shrieking in terror when he got up to pee one night and mary had a little lamb started to play in the dark. well.

they were very cute, though. he might have married a grandma, but he'd married a grandma with _taste._

dan had been puzzled at what to give phil for his birthday. tier 4 lockdown didn't exactly help either. he had a feeling phil would really like this one, though.

they knew practically every trick the other had, and had given up on trying to surprise gift each other years ago. and, eh, it might have been the day before phil's actual real birthday, but it still counted. besides he wasn't sure he'd ever been this excited to give phil a gift before.

the two dinosaurs in the tiny globe were yellow and blue, and on dan's request had been given tiny plaques saying DAN and PHIL respectively. he smiled and tucked it carefully into his "yoga bag". yes, time had no meaning and yoga was in their basement, and dan didn't even have anything other than a water bottle in the bag and his phone, but god darn it if he wasn't gonna carry his yellow and grey bag down every day because phil wanted him to "have some colour in his life".

he smiled at phil, who was sitting on the floor of their (wooden floorboarded, phil was very smug about it) basement. phil grinned back. "hello there, danneh. you ready?"

"not as if we've been doing this for a month now, lester."

"to quote you, 'ew, you have a concept of time? that's gross'."

"touche."

he sat down as well, setting the bag down carefully. "i have a...........surprise for you."

phil's face lit up like a christmas tree. "really? what is it?"

he took out the tiny globe, cradling it in his hands - phil gasped. "dan, that's so cute!"

"you haven't even seen the best part yet!" he laughed, winding it up. phil laid on his stomach and dan copied him, as the music started to play. DAN and PHIL started moving a little clunkily, as the song started up:

_dinosaurs eating people_

_dinosaurs in love_

_dinosaurs having a party, they eat fruit and cucumber_

_they fell in love_

_they say thank you_

_a big bang came, and they, and they died_

_dinosaurs, dinosaurs fell in love but they didn't say goodbye._

_but they didn't say goodbye._

dan tried to fight it, but he couldn't help tearing up. next to him, phil was an absolute mess. he really should have considered the consequences of the both of them being utter saps before he engraved their names onto tiny dinosaurs in love who didn't get to say goodbye.

he put an arm around phil, both of them now weeping openly. their poor neighbours had to deal with construction noises for three years and now they were gonna have to survive basement banshees.

phil tapped his arm. "goodbye and hello."

dan gave out a wet chuckle. "goodbye and hello to you too."

"this was an unfortunate callback to danosaur, but its my favourite gift of all time. i'm gonna need five hours to get over this, minimum."

"five _hours?_ i'm gonna need five days!" exclaimed dan. "i married a robot!"

"hey! its not my fault you're like this. i swear to god if you start i'll bring up the detective pikachu incident-"

"NO YOGA TODAY, THEN," dan interrupted, half laughing. "come on then, philosaur. let's get something to eat."

"unless its fruits and cucumber, its a no from me."

**Author's Note:**

> hello hello thank you if you genuinely read this,,, it was a crazy idea that struck me today because i cannot get the song out of my head, so leave a comment telling me ur thoughts shjsbsjh. if by chance u like this (LMAO) and want me to write more, u can always reach me at @malewifelester on my tumblr!! xoxo


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